The Fruit Chronicles: coconut

Cameron Baker, MVC Staff Reporter

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Have you ever heard of cocoa, before? Well, let me be the first to tell you, that if you slap nut at the end of cocoa, it creates a wondrous combination of fruit, nut, and seed. These are commonly referred to as drupes. The coconut is a rare tropical oddity, but that cannot stop me from reviewing it.

First and foremost, the coconut is extremely hairy. One might even mistake it for an ape hanging from the treetops. Another downside about the exterior of the coconut is the brownish color. Brown, in my humble opinion, is a revolting, substandard color that has no business being attached to something so delicious. I still have not forgiven chocolate for this malfeasance.

Despite the horrendous looking chimp-esque exoskeleton of the coconut, its flavor is a pleasant surprise. You may want to avoid biting into the coconut outright, not only because it will break your teeth, but the juice inside is the main attraction anyway. Instead, get a large cutting utensil, and slice open the top of the coconut to get to the milky juice. The juice has a flavor that is sweet, and a tiny bit salty. Since it is mostly water, it tastes watered down.

The white, soft inside is called meat, or sometimes flesh. The meat is a nice flashback to home in America as it tastes like chicken to me. This is very confusing, as the coconut is not an animal. This confusion led to some heated arguments among my friends and me over why this smooth looking substance would be called flesh.

Overall, I’d give the coconut six out of ten apples on the apple scale. The coconut is a great fruit, nut, seed hybrid, and friend to us all.

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