Music has been with humans for ages, dating back thousands of years. In that time, an inconceivable number of songs have been composed in countless genres, but one question that many have had has gone unanswered for too long. I am here today to figure out what is the definitive greatest song ever made in a totally unbiased and tasteful fashion.
There are many awesome contenders for the spot of greatest song ever made. Some may say to just look at the Top 100 over the years, for there is sure to be something there worthy of the label, but I say bah humbug to that hypothesis. The Top 100 songs have become uninspiring and formulaic pop songs and the greatest song must not be either of those. It needs to be original, inspirational and possibly even a pioneer in a musical trend.
With that criteria, I should look to classical music, right? Once again, I say no to that balderdash. Despite some classical music fitting within my ruleset, there is just something unexplainable about the genre that prevents any song in it from claiming the spot for the greatest song of all time. Thus, I must continue looking elsewhere.
Another popular type of genre is core music, and while I do like songs of some of those genres such as breakcore, most of the core genres are uninspired. Look to nightcore, where the entire premise is just speeding up and shifting the vocals of other people’s original songs. If that is not uninspired music, then I just do not know what is.
Rock has the highest potential in housing the greatest song ever made, but it is an expansive genre with too many contenders. To narrow down the search, I must first find the greatest artist of the genre, but there are too many to choose from. The Foo Fighters, Jhariah, Will Wood, Tally Hall, Beach Boys, Weezer, Red Hot Chili Peppers and many more have great songs that fit the criteria, but none hold the greatest song ever made for one simple reason.
In 2023, artist and YouTuber Pleasantries released what I believe to be the world’s magnum opus of music: a video simply titled “THE GREATEST SONG EVER MADE.”
See, Pleasantries had a short music arc, starting in late 2022, when he made the greatest song about a thing, such as pillows or cats, but he must have been unsatisfied with these songs for far too long. Pleasantries needed to make the greatest song about everything, but there are too many things in the universe, so he just made the greatest song in order not to have to try to top it ever again. This is, in my belief, why “The Greatest Song Ever Made” was made.
“The Greatest Song Ever Made” tells the story of a boy who became the son of every dad on the planet, replacing every single one of their sons. Such a simple premise may seem too far-fetched to be the backbone of the greatest song ever made, but it is a very pleasant surprise upon first listen. There is drama, romance, baseball games and everything else needed to create a perfect song.
Thus, “The Greatest Song Ever Made” by Pleasantries is simply the definitive greatest song ever made throughout the history of everything. I will not be accepting any complaints, especially any that claim that I have ranked this masterpiece as the greatest song ever made as a joke.
