Superbowl recap

Two teams, one from losertown, and the other from the prestigious AFC, faced off in the ultimate showdown of skill and athleticism. Broadcast to more than a 100 million people, it is one of the most widely viewed competitions in all of history. This year both the widely hated Patriots and the widely forgotten about Rams, were the two lucky contestants.

Jared Goff, quarterback for the Rams, is a youngin’ to be sure. Described by Martin “Football” McConnell as a, “white, stay in the pocket, play it safe type, who needs to loosen up before he deserves to win.”

According to many reputable analysts, Tom Brady, the opposing quarterback, is probably the best player in the league. The problem is that his instagram is extremely creepy and people are spooked by it. One need simply look at the video where he stares directly into the camera and jams out to a strange song, never breaking his gaze.

Cameron McGinnis, 12, stated, “I really don’t like this guy, come to think of it he might actually be the antichrist.”

The outcome for this boring game was a Patriots victory, 13-3.