Guide to grief

The holiday season has passed. For those dealing with grief, it was tough.

Last April my father died. Since then I have been trying to survive in the sea of grief that is trying to drown me. It has been extremely difficult, but there are some things I have learned.

1. Everyone grieves differently. Some people only need to grieve for a short amount of time. Some take forever to grieve. Do not ever tell anyone that is grieving that it has been long enough and to get over it.
2. There are different coping mechanisms. Someone may use humor to cope with the loss. Some people may just cope with it silently. Others might be vocal about their feelings and ask more for support. There might even be some who use anger to cope. People also vary in the ways they cope.

I am personally a person who copes with loss through humor. I also cope silently. I do not really ask for help in it. I prefer to be by myself when I am really upset. Although there might be times when I need a hug.

3. Life does not go back to the way it was before. Many people believe that one just grieves for a certain amount of time and go back to the way it was before. Life will never be the same. Someone that the grieving person cared about is gone. This is a part of their life that is gone.

My life has changed since my dad died. I now live with my mother full-time. I do not go out as much. I do not go out as much since my dad is not there encouraging me to. I cry more too. I cry at the randomest things that happen to remind me of him.

An example is when I was in the musical in this past November I started crying because we were going to Steak and Shake after the show. The reason I cried was that Steak and Shake was the last place I went out to eat with my dad.

4. It is okay to forget. As time goes on one may begin to forget the small things. One may begin to forget the sound of the one they lost voice, their smell, and the way their smile looked. It is completely okay to forget these things. Do not get upset by this, it is normal.

Since my dad died I forgot the sound of his voice. I have forgotten his smile. There are just many little things I have forgotten about him. I just have to remind myself that is okay to forget.

These are four things that I like to keep in mind when I am grieving.