Hello, good people of the world. Today I would like to run through some songs that really speak to me. Some lyrics have me in a chokehold, words that I just could not remove from my mind. These lyrics are on repeat, living rent-free, one could say. Lyrics that I will never forget due to the shear stink coming from them. Some would say they are traumatizing. These lyrics are so bad that it is hard to see how they ever got past the publishers.
I think that it would be smart to start out with the queen of controversy herself, Taylor Swift. The song that I am referring to here is off her new record “The Tortured Poets Society,” “So High School.” The song goes, “Touch me while your bros play grand theft auto.” Now, what was she thinking with this one? I mean that is just a gross bar. “Touch me while your bros play grand theft auto?” What does that even mean? She was with Travis Kelce when this was under development. Is she airing bro out right now? That is just weird, but it makes for a good lyric to start the list with.
Up next I have one of the biggest up-and-coming female rappers, Ice Spice. Now this bar is coming from her hit single, “Think U The S##t (fart).” Now, with a title like that one can only imagine the stinkers coming from this song. My favorite of them was “Think you the s##t, b###h you not even the fart, (grrah).” That is Lyricism right there. Some may say the tippy-top peak of musical composing. That one will be written about in the history books, I am sure of that.
Next up are the indie rock pioneers The Smiths. These silly fellas are actually held in pretty high regard when it comes to their musical prowess. Even after saying this, they still have some questionable songs. The one that I am referring to is “Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others.” In this funky song the line “from the ice-age to the dole-age, there is but one concern I have just discovered / some girls are bigger than others / some girls are bigger than others. some girls’ mothers are bigger than other girls’ mothers.” Now, that is just a soul-crushing lyric. What is the point of this entire song? Why are we judging women on their bodies?
Up next I have the GOAT himself, Eminem. He dropped the album “Tobey” earlier this year which delighted fans’ ears. This one was a real stinker. In this song, he says, “Tobey Maguire got bit by a spider, but see, me, it was a goat. If you want space, I hope you take your helmet off soon as you get up to Venus and choke.” That is trash. “If you want space, I hope you take your helmet off soon as you get up to Venus and choke.” What does that even mean? It makes no sense. That may be the worst bar I have ever heard. People call this man the GOAT.
Okay, for this last one, I saved something really special: the one and only Machine Gun Kelly. This lyrical mastermind has graced my eardrums once again with his hit song “Emo Girl.” In this song he preaches these words, “Takes pics with cherry-red lipstick / says she only dates guys with a big, mm.” Now that is just amazing. It really makes me wanna get up and wiggle my finger. I’m lying, one of the worst things to ever grace my eardrums.
But hey, that is just my opinion. Nobody has to listen to me or what I have to say. My music taste is not even that good. I am a Babytron fan. Do not listen to me actually. Listen to what you wanna listen to, do not let some doofus on the internet have a say on what you indulge in